I made scones yesterday and I have to admit, they didn't really turn out the way I remember them.

I went on sir ahsan’s blog after the longest time and after reading that he was doing a blog-a-thon I went back to the first post of the month and began reading. He has, I fear, grown up. His posts are not even close to resembling the person I showed my 'well-written poetry and essays' to, so different from what I've come to expect from my second-best (first being ms. smith, WRHS) English teacher.

It’s a pretty sucky day, as eth so elegantly put it. Today, when my dad came home from his night shift he brought some bad news. I barely heard the words ‘died’ and ‘called me’ because I had my headphones on. The first thought that rushed to me was Mani bhai, but even as I was thinking it I knew it wasn’t anything to do with him, my dad looked composed. My sister’s friend’s sister got hit by a truck while she was at the bus stop. It doesn’t make sense to me at the moment, I didn’t ask for details. It’s in the newspaper, though, apparently. I remember her, the person. I used to play with her younger twin sisters. She was really quiet, and very studious and clever. My mum and sister have gone to their house but I refused to go. I’m terrified of funerals. I remember when my grandmother (the only grandparent I’ve ever known) passed away, and I couldn’t cry. The scene is imprinted in my mind: I was at the top of the stairs and the phone rang which my mother picked up. She screamed an unearthly scream and fell to the floor. I had no idea what to do. I distinctly remember sitting in bed with her that day, feeling awful because I was unable to shed a single tear while my mother cried her heart out. For a fairly long time my gran didn’t feel dead, and then during that time I think I got over it. Sometimes, these days I wake up and I hear her serene voice reciting the Quran because in Hyderabad that’s what you’d hear when you woke up. When my cousins and I reached the house, we would all race to say salam to her and hug her, blatantly ignoring everyone else until we had.

Also, eth’s car was broken into this morning. His radio was taken and his dashboard smashed, I think. I feel really horrible for him, it’s like, at the moment, his life is just a stream of bad luck. I hope he finds his good luck soon.

I’ve been blending things a lot lately: I was blending lemonade but I put in too much crushed ice so it turned into a lemon slushie, but it was still as delicious. I’m really pretty pleased with the way I’ve become independent lately. That sense of wrong doing, all the time, has left me after two stinking years. I’m making my own decisions instead of asking eth or moe or ne to make them for me. About time, too, I reckon. I’m thinking of throwing away the things I made for them, and making new ones because I’ve gotten quite good at making stuff.

Every song by Enya and Enigma feels so familiar, even though I haven’t heard them in like 5 years or something. Lovely.

^-^